Deciding To Help Yourself
But how do you go about finding the right help? When choosing someone to seek counsel from, consider the following.
- What does it feel like for you to sit or talk with the therapist? If you aren’t comfortable with a counsellor or he/she doesn’t feel like a good fit for you, that’s ok, there’s absolutely no contract or rule requiring you to continue with the individual.
- What’s the their general philosophy and approach to helping? Does your counsellor approach human beings in a compassionate and optimistic way? Does the therapist believe humans are born loving and loveable, or does she believe people are genetically deficient?
- Can the they clearly define how they can help you to solve whatever issue or concern has brought you to therapy? An experienced counsellor explains how they can help, is able to give you a basic “road map,” to their approach and can even give an indication of how you will know when therapy is finished.
- Do they encourage dependence or independence? Good therapy doesn’t solve your problems; it helps you to solve your own. Likewise, good therapy doesn’t soothe your overwhelming feelings; it helps you to soothe your own. If your counsellor provides these for you it is more likely you will become dependent on your therapist rather than on yourself.
- Has your counsellor done their own therapy? Most good healers are wounded healers, those who in the process of healing their own wounds developed the know how to help others to heal theirs.
- Does the therapist have experience helping others with the particular issues you are seeking therapy for? The more experience one has addressing a particular issue, concern, or problem area, the more expertise one has developed.
- Does the counsellor make guarantees or promises? It’s important for a therapist to provide hope, but not absolute unconditional guarantees. If you have the will to change and put in the necessary time and energy, healing is possible.